I don’t know how many times I said I’ll never do something only to do it anyway. That’s the main reason I don’t make New Year’s resolutions: life is too complex for that. “Never say never,” as the saying goes.
We often regret the things we did despite swearing that we won’t. “How could I be so stupid?” and “But I swore I’d never…” But then I look at my list of things I swore I’d never do and think to myself that sometimes breaking promises isn’t that bad.
- Live abroad
I never wanted to live abroad. But since the man I married is German (and I’m Polish), it feels like I had no choice. But do you hear me complaining? No. Oh well, just a little bit.
- Marry a German
Speaking of marrying a German, that was never the plan either. A man from Britain or France? Sure. But a German? Why? Wouldn’t he be too organized for my chaotic nature? Turns out, no. He isn’t. In fact, he perfectly balances out my chaos.
- Have kids
Even as a child, I knew that being a mother was hard work. I wasn’t sure whether I wanted to do it. But then I decided that having kids wouldn’t be so bad. Turns out, I was right. And the other me was right too: having children is difficult. But it isn’t so bad either.
- Drink alcohol
Well, I still don’t drink that much of it, to be honest. I’ve never drunk much, not even as a teen or in my twenties. Now, if I have one beer or cider once a year, that’s already a lot. But I swore I’d never drink, not even a drop, so needed to include that in this list.
- Drink coffee
When I was little, I said to my mom, “When I grow up, I’ll wear glasses and drink coffee.” Well, I wear glasses (it helps if you want to see something other than smudges of colors), but I changed my mind about the coffee. From this moment on, no coffee, ever! But now, as a mother, I realize that once in a while, maybe once in a few weeks, coffee is necessary for proper functioning.
- Be a SAHM
Because my mom has worked all of her adult life, it was evident to me that I would too. But when I became a mother myself, I was studying, I moved to a new country, and I had a hard time overall. Staying at home wasn’t a choice for me, and it made me miserable. I consider myself a writer now, and that helps immensely.
- Become a writer
When asked, “What do you want to do?” it never occurred to me to reply, “I want to be a writer.” Among my ideas for future jobs were: ice cream vendor (because ice cream makes people happy); Translator; “Something with books”; “Something with culture” “Something with languages.” But being a writer allows me to do all of it: make people happy, translate, work with language, culture, and books. In other words, it’s the dream job I didn’t know I wanted.
- Have only female friends
I was proud of my ability to be friends with men. It gave me the feeling of being special. In fact, I still miss my male friends. But maybe focusing on male friendships made me overlook the wonderful connections women can have with each other.
- Start a blog
I first heard about blogs in 2007. And I laughed at the idea. “Having a blog is not for me,” I proclaimed proudly. Life proved me wrong, once again. But as it turns out, having a blog was not just great. It turned out to be the perfect medium for me, in every possible way.
- Learn to drive
Knowing about my coordination issues, I’ve always felt driving was not the best idea for me. My father, however, insisted. “You need to be able to drive a car,” he said. “Do I?” I thought, thinking of my mom who doesn’t drive either. But since my father paid for the driving class, and after I managed to pass the exam the second time around, I found myself the owner of a driving license. Said license looked very nice in my wallet until it expired four years ago. I haven’t even considered getting a new one. I guess it’s too late to become a professional car racer.
What about you? What have did you swear you’d never do only to do it anyway? And did you regret it?